Real frowns about fake smiles
I have to admit: I do not look at the glass as half full. I try, however, not to look at it as half empty either.Now that I think about it, using this glass example to determine people's view of life, is an idiotic way. I'm not a trained psychologist, but sounds to me like this "measurement tool" was invented by an alcoholic Ph.D. What about people who try to view life as it is, with its happy and sad moments and not just all optimistic or all pessimistic? Where do they fit? Or they're just mutant species?
There's this co-worker (and former student of mine - although about 10 years or so older than me) who tries to "radiate" his positive attitude everywhere he goes. Whenever people ask him (to be polite, I'm sure) how he is, his cliche response is "I am just great! Is there any other way to be?" Sometimes I just fake a smile and say something "nice" in response. Sometimes I just want to yell at him "stop your fokin' fake shit!"
To make matters more pathetic, during one of our boring meetings, this man held a presentation of how to be successful and was trying to convince us how, when someone really loves his/her work, then it's not work anymore, it's fun and one can go on and on working many hours a day. His idea of studying to be successful was 16-18 hours a day, every day! And (here comes the funny part) is being told by someone like him who took 10 years to finish college!
All he talks about (those times I'm stuck at my desk with him nearby) is some leadership/motivational/Amway crap. He's even opening a business to do "leadership" seminars! How can I warn those poor souls who will spend money to listen to his bullshit?
Another co-worker of mine and I are convinced that he is trying to cover up some serious issues with his fake happy mask. He probably has had a rough past and issues with self-esteem and probably went to one (or more) of those "motivational" seminars and got this mask. I really feel bad for him. I've never experienced it myself but I've heard that those who use Cocaine, feel pretty damn high and good, but then suffer from a major crash of depression. I'm not suggesting this person sniffs, just an analogy what may happen if one day his mask just falls apart.
But, he's not the only one with this fake positive attitude. We have it all around, and here in the US is the only way to be if you want to be successful and liked. You hear it everywhere how one needs to be positive and super-nice, not just for ourselves, but because people we interact with need not be disturbed. I don't think it's so outrageous when we find grocery store employees not throwing smiles your way: they're actually doing something good for their health.
According to this new research, people who fake happiness are at a serious risk of harming their health. I guess I've said enough.
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 at 2:41 PM.
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I agree that people who never open up and maintain this happy facade with everyone all the time must be unhealthy in some way.And it is probably quite irritating to be around a permanently "sunny" person.
But, I think as a defence mechanism, it works for many people.If you have a few problems in one area of life, it's best kept there so it doesn't interfere with everything else. For example if you had family/personal problems it would be better for you emotionally not to bring it up at work or talk about it, so at least you forget it for a few hours.
I'm not sure that those people who are complete realists actually exist,but wholly pessimist or optimist people are few and far in between too. Most people are somewhere in the middle .Don't forget that some people may have such depressing lives, if they didn't see the few positives in it they'd go crazy and wouldn't be able to get through it.
About that new research, I don't think it would apply to the guy you were talking about. He can choose whether he wants to portray a super happy side of himself, and that probably makes him feel better. The shop workers are supposed to be smiley, whether they like it or not. It's all about control.
I thought it was a really interesting post.:)
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Hm... interesting, Lilly. I'm not arguing.
Just remember how you felt the other day when that father kept bugging you as you're doing that tour for new students ;-)
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