How cheap can you go?
I was accused a couple of days ago for being cheap - and this came from a guy who keeps an excel spreadsheet comparing laundry detergent prices from store to store and goes to Starbucks to get their used coffee grinds to fertilize his garden. But maybe I am - I know I try to be frugal but perhaps, sometimes, I cross into into cheapskate-ness.
But, my point for this vent is something else. A friend of mine has moved to FL and has a very well-paid job; he's probably making double of what I make and he has no family. Anyway, I don't try to get into peoples' finances but some things do bother me. He's in town to visit his mom and then travel to Canada with his Mexican girlfriend (he's paying for this whole trip). In the mean time, he's renting out his house down in FL. He's never had any loans; his college was paid by his parents and his employer paid for his master's. He lived completely cost-free with his mom until he moved to FL two years ago. Heck, he didn't even need to have a checking account (and he didn't - he only had an investment account with some brokerage firm) cause he spent so little cash.
Everytime he's in town, we go out for coffee or a drink - mostly my treats since he's a "guest." Yesterday was the same story, we went out to this chain coffee shop and, to his credit, he took out a $20 bill supposedly to pay. When the barista asked if our coffees were both together, he didn't say a thing, but I could see he was uncomfortable. So I jumped in and said yes. As I said, he "offered" to pay, supposedly, but you know how people have this look in their face that shows how uncomfortable they are and they get relieved when someone else pays.
I'm not venting cause my budget was hurt by a $3 coffee, but the whole thing just bugs me. And I just took him (and gave all his background details) as an example to make a point, there are a few others like him as well.
But, my point for this vent is something else. A friend of mine has moved to FL and has a very well-paid job; he's probably making double of what I make and he has no family. Anyway, I don't try to get into peoples' finances but some things do bother me. He's in town to visit his mom and then travel to Canada with his Mexican girlfriend (he's paying for this whole trip). In the mean time, he's renting out his house down in FL. He's never had any loans; his college was paid by his parents and his employer paid for his master's. He lived completely cost-free with his mom until he moved to FL two years ago. Heck, he didn't even need to have a checking account (and he didn't - he only had an investment account with some brokerage firm) cause he spent so little cash.
Everytime he's in town, we go out for coffee or a drink - mostly my treats since he's a "guest." Yesterday was the same story, we went out to this chain coffee shop and, to his credit, he took out a $20 bill supposedly to pay. When the barista asked if our coffees were both together, he didn't say a thing, but I could see he was uncomfortable. So I jumped in and said yes. As I said, he "offered" to pay, supposedly, but you know how people have this look in their face that shows how uncomfortable they are and they get relieved when someone else pays.
I'm not venting cause my budget was hurt by a $3 coffee, but the whole thing just bugs me. And I just took him (and gave all his background details) as an example to make a point, there are a few others like him as well.
This entry was posted
on Monday, July 17, 2006 at 8:56 AM.
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ByYeah - the person with the best balance sheet should always buy the coffee. And dinner.
By
Listen Shqipo,
next time you say, no! we pay separetly and this story is over. It doesn't make anysense to play the game and then complain about it. Either he is a guest and you keep the tradition on (you pay for your guest and forget about his finances and his attitudes) or you forget about traditions and do what your stomach tells you.
By
I tend to think all "friend dates" should be dutch. (unless an offer is made to treat) But I have run into this awkward situation with the guy I am dating. I know his balance sheet is better, but I try to pay sometimes so that I don't feel guilty when he suggests that the restraunt is expensive.
remaining "anonymous" just in case. Don't want to hurt any feelings.
g-monster
By
The main issue is that people are sooo afraid to stop on other people's toes...(the rules for dating are SLIGHTLY different; I am talking about going out with “friends”)…the minute you forget about all that crap, you will be happier...It's like there are all these unwritten rules, but no one speaks up...The first time you get shafted in a situation about paying or not is when you are a victim...any time after that, you are a volunteer...man up and grow some stones albo! :p
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